Tag Archive | "Zoo With Roy"

The NBA Fantasy League Week 4: Let’s Get Dealing

Oh man, my team stinks. It really stinks. Team Free Boosie ranks dead last in the entire league in rebounds, assists and steals, and second to last in blocks and points. My team is the fantasy version of the Washington Wizards. When you look at the team, it seems like it has some good pieces, but it’s a terrible combination and managed the wrong way. I need to put the guys in a better position. I’m sorry, fanatasy Chris Paul. This one’s on me.

In other news, The Verticoli are running away with this thing. I’ve seen some shifts from week to week, but they’ve got an 18 point lead over the second place team. I’m going to give you some inside scoop on this though. Three letters, PED. The team is being investigated currently. I can’t say much more, but it all comes from a source very close to the situation.

If you’re looking for a team to make a move at some point, I’m going to go with the Delco Dirtbags. They’re laying in the weeds a bit, but I’ve heard from my sources that there’s a method here, and there might be a second half run in them.

Finally, everyone still hates Rick Penguino and his ZWR Penguins.

Now on to the real analysis.

Matt and Moe are two of the co-founding fantasy experts of RotoAnalysis.com. You can follow them @KidCotti21 and@MoeProblems respectively, or their site @RotoAnalysis.

Trades That Should Happen

The SpikeEskin.com Fantasy Hoops league is unusual in a myriad of aspects, starting with the fact that very few of the members of the league knew each other before the draft, the league’s irregular scoring, and the 14-team format (10? Sure. 12? Common. 16? Yeah, I’ve been in a few. 14? I’ve seen very few). The league is certainly not average. But in my opinion, the most inexplicable thing about the SpikeEskin.com league is its extreme dearth of trades. Through four and a half weeks (about 37.5% of the fantasy regular season) the entire league has made a total of one trade. To give that some perspective, RotoAnalysis.com writer Moe Koltun is in a league that has had 22 trades made to this date, and that’s in a league that includes a salary cap making trades more difficult to work. In the RotoAnalysis.com “Experts” league, there have been 8, with only 8 teams in the league (albeit with 22 man rosters). So, due to this lack of trades, we have decided to come up with some hypothetical trades for the league.

Get Rid of Pinky trades Andrea Bargnani & Tony Allen to Narcoleptic E Snow Experience for DeAndre Jordan & Derrick Favors

This might be one of the most logical trades of all time. “Get Rid of Pinky” really needs rebounds; “Narcoleptic E Snow Experience” really needs free throw %. “Narcoleptic E Snow Experience” really needs 3 pointers made; “Get Rid of Pinky” really needs FG%. The Bargnani for Jordan swap in itself would also be fair and logical, but I think the extra pieces benefit both sides (Favors has huge rebound + FG% upside, Tony Allen is a solid FT% guy and okay at everything else). Overall, this trade is nearly perfect, and if the trade negotiations in this league weren’t as extinct as the velociraptor, it surely would have been made by now.

Please Advise… trades Jodie Meeks & Brandon Rush to Narcoleptic E Snow Experience for Anderson Varejao

I mean the team name is “Please Advise…” so i figured we should help a brother out. Sitting in 7th place, a perfect trade partner sits right beneath you in 8th; another option for “Narcoleptic E Snow Experience” as he tries to balance out his squad. His team ranks dead last in three pointers, while sitting in first in rebounds and blocks. “Please Advise…” is average in three pointers, while near the bottom of the league in rebounds, blocks, and points. It would be logical for the two of them to flip a shooter for a big man. “Please Advise…” still has D.J. White hanging around the roster, and decent enough guards sitting in his utility spots to hold the squad over until Manu is back (absolute fantasy stud. he was killing it before he got injured this year). As for “Narcoleptic E Snow Experience,” they have one player who has made more than 15 threes this season. While John Wall has a lot of upside, he hasn’t drained a three all season. Jodie Meeks and Brandon Rush have combined to hit 60 threes so far this year. It’s time to get Wesley Johnson out of that starting lineup, and use your depth at power forward and center to minimize the loss of Varejao, who has been a double-double machine, but is far from irreplaceable. Big Baby, Favors, Perkins, Hansborough, and Hawes (once he’s back) are more than enough to hold down your big man spots with the stud shot blockers you already have, and Greg Monroe who is on his way up the ladder to becoming a star fantasy player.

Free Boosie trades Stephen Jackson & Hedo Turkoglu to The Personal Fouls for Jameer Nelson & Mo Williams

This trade was a little bit tougher to develop than the first, but I thought that we needed to get Spike any help he could get after his abysmal start in the league, currently in 14th (better known as “Last”) place. After looking through the smorgasbord of categories “Free Boosie” is inept in, I came to the conclusion that the main problem was assists. In this trade, Free Boosie gains two players who are good in that category, while giving away one of his only categories with depth: 3 Pointers Made. I know on the surface it looks like a great deal for Spike, but Hedo Turkoglu has actually been by far the best player in this trade (6.23 Points on the “Spike League” Player Rater) where as Jameer Nelson has actually been the worst (0.86 Points on the “Spike League” Player Rater). It is a little bit of a buy low / sell high, but The Personal Fouls desperately needs 3 Pointers Made, and there’s always the possibility that Jameer Nelson’s continual injury issues once again resurface. However, for Spike, it’s more than worth it to take that chance because, what, worst case he finishes further in last? There’s nowhere to go but up.

Dino Radja trades Josh Smith to Delco Dirtbags for James Harden

One on one trades are always hard. I’m sure each of these respective owners loves the guy they own here—but with a swap, both teams could improve. Delco Dirtbags is sitting at 4th in the league, but has several teams nipping at its heels. Its two weakest categories are steals and blocks. Josh “Smitty” Smith contributes 3.2 “stocks” (steals+blocks), and his rebounds will surely help “Delco Dirtbags” get above average in that category. As for Harden, while he has been incredibly efficient, he provides only 1.0 “stocks” a game. His free throw shooting would be huge for Dino Radja, who rank 13th in the league in FT%, and 12th in the league in 3Pt, while being above average in steals and blocks. This is like the definition of a win-win trade. You’re both welcome.

You can follow along and watch league standings all year of the league HERE.

I’ve created a Twitter list of everyone in the league, you can follow that list HERE. 

And once again, please check out the fine folks over at RotoAnalysis.com for great fantasy advice for all sports, in written and podcast form.

Posted in Fantasy Sports, Fun Stuff, SixersComments (0)

The NBA Fantasy League Week 1 Wrap-Up: Big Hair, Small Points

#1 Dud Of The Week, Monta Ellis

Before we get to the breakdown from the Roto Analysis guys, some news and rumors to get you caught up on.

First, here are the standings after a full week of games:

That’s right, I’m in 12th place in my own league. Leave me alone about it. If I was winning my own league everyone would hate me anyway. After my free-agent pickup of Markieff Morris, the sky’s the limit. At least Josh McRoberts lasted a full week.

It’s unclear so far weather Zoo With Roy, GM and owner of the ZWR Penguins, is the Mark Cuban of the leave, a maverick who will change how the game is played and eventually win it all, or the Daniel Snyder of the league, out there to annoy the bejesus out of everyone. His current pursuit of Kyle Lowry is the talk of SE Fantasy. He’s also most likely to be the first owner that’s fined by the league.

Please Advise is said to be scouring the market for a shooting guard/small forward, with Manu Ginobli out for a month. I’m hearing talks of a deal with Anthony Mason Haircut, who grabbed Richard Jefferson off the waiver wire within seconds of Ginobli’s injury.

The Delco Dirtbags though publicly very supportive of Jimmer Fredette, have reportedly been quietly shopping the former BYU star. League sources say they’re looking for a “scrappy” guy who “plays the right way” and “hustles.”

Team Reese has yet to adjust their roster once this season. Inside sources say GM Ike Reese is “playing possum” with the rest of the league. Not too sure what that accomplishes.

And now for the real analysis. I can’t thank these guys enough. For any fantasy football, basketball or baseball information, please check out their site and podcast.

Matt and Moe are two of the co-founding fantasy experts of RotoAnalysis.com. You can follow them @KidCotti21 and@MoeProblems respectively, or their site @RotoAnalysis.

Standings: Looking Back and Looking Up

1st Place

“The Verticoli” got off to a great start behind who else but Kyle Lowry. Lowry has been an absolute stud to start the year; an underrated part to his game comprised mostly of assists is his FT%, which currently sits over 90% and has been a big reason why The Verticoli leads the league in that category. The Verticoli is also first in the league in 3 Pointers Made and Points, something Ryan Anderson has been a huge part of with 22 three pointers. The Magic big man ranks 4th overall on the ESPN player rater, and at this point stands ahead of his frontcourt-mate, Dwight Howard. While the standings will be changing every day, it is pretty impressive for this squad to be above the league average in nine of ten categories.

14th Place

“BIG HAIR little shorts” has been struggling with a couple of injuries, which will really set any team back in a sample size as small as the first week of the season. But with Paul Pierce back now and Eric Gordon coming back soon, it’s time for this team to get going. It’s also time to get Corey Maggette way out of that lineup. He’s killing this team, as well as any other he’s currently on, with his 28% FG, and is so low on the player rater that ESPN measures that he has hurt his owners’ teams by more than 4 points in the standings. Ranking as low as you do in assists, steals, A/TO, and FT%, this team absolutely must work on its guard play, and target a point guard via trade or free agency. Having Kemba Walker and Sundiata Gaines as your only PGs on the roster simply isn’t going to cut it with PG as deep as it is.

Studs Of The Week

Honorable Mention: Rajon Rondo, Jose Calderon, James Harden, Hedo Turkoglu, Tyson Chandler, Paul George, Spencer Hawes, Marcus Thornton, Boris Diaw, Markieff Morris, Mario Chalmers, Jason Terry, Andre Miller, Ben Gordon, MarShon Brooks, Norris Cole,

3. Ty Lawson (PG, Denver Nuggets) Narcoleptic E Snow Experience

Ty Lawson has clearly won the starting job over veteran Andre Miller in Denver by starting the year with a bang and being at least average in every skill the perfect point guard is supposed to have. Lawson scores, gets assists, shoots 3’s, and adds a few rebounds, all at an efficient rate. However, the skill that is really putting Lawson on the elite level is his game-changing speed, leading him to average 2.5 steals per game so far this season. I don’t think we can expect 2.5 steals per game, but upwards of 2 certainly seems possible with Lawson’s electric style of play.

2. Manu Ginobli (SG, San Antonio Spurs) Please Advise…

Manu must have heard about being ridiculously underdrafted in the SpikeEskin.com fantasy hoops league, because he started the season off playing with a chip on his shoulder, producing way above average numbers in every category besides blocks in a shockingly low 23.2 minutes per game. The best part about Manu’s season so far was his efficiency, shooting 59.2% from the field, 93.8% from the line, and a whopping 51.9% from 3. Manu would have obviously been a sell high candidate right now because every one of those percentages is going to come down, but unfortunately he broke his hand and will be out more than a month. At least for this week, Manu Ginobli looked well worth the draft pick. (James Anderson and Gary Neal would be the guys to target in his absence if desperate

1.Ryan Anderson (PF, Orlando Magic) The Verticoli

Ryan Anderson has always been a very good 3-point shooter, and a great per-minute player throughout his career, averaging 10.6 points and 5.5 rebounds in 22.3 minutes last season. However, before this season Anderson had never gotten the chance to really start because of blockages on the Magic by players ahead of him on the depth chart like Hedo Turkoglu and Brandon Bass. Before the start of this season, the Magic foolishly traded Brandon Bass for supposedly Dwight Howard’s friend Glen “Big Baby” Davis and gave him a relatively large contract in what is seemingly a vain effort to re-sign Dwight Howard. This trade left the door open for Anderson to start because he is blatantly a far superior player to Davis, and he’s flourished since game 1. Anderson will regress from the field and from beyond the arc (especially from beyond the arc, you can’t take 8.3 3-pointers per game), but for right now Ryan Anderson was the best value in any fantasy basketball league so far this season.

Duds Of The Week

Honorable Mention: Kyrie Irving, Andray Blatche, Marcin Gortat, Al Jefferson, Anderson Varejao, David Lee, Ed Davis, Aaron Afflalo, Richard Hamilton, Jameer Nelson, Stephen Jackson, Luis Scola, Demarcus Cousins, Zach Randolph, Wesley Johnson, Thaddeus Young

3. Tyreke Evans (PG, SG, Sacramento Kings) Anthony Mason Haircut

I really don’t like Tyreke Evans, and it’s not because he hates puppies or is mean to homeless people. I’m sure he’s a really nice guy, I just think he’s pretty bad at basketball. Evans is currently sitting on ESPN’s player rater as the 47th best point guard, and finished last season as the 34th best. There’s a reason I declared Tyreke the most overdrafted player in this league, as well as in most leagues, and that’s because he’s dreadfully overrated due to his rookie season. Sure, he’s got talent but Evans is always going to disappoint owners unless he goes in the 7th round or later rather than 4th or, god forbid, the 3rd round–like in this draft.

2. Josh Smith (PF, SF, Atlanta Hawks) Dino Radja

Josh Smith, or as I like to call him, “Josh Smiff”, had a horrific start to the season. He has shot 36.5% from the field, which is legitimately hard to do from the power forward position, and also converted only 54.5% of his opportunities at the charity stripe. Smith has even regressed in the rebounding category, averaging 1.5 less boards than last season and only managing to score 10 points per game. I expect Smith’s percentages to trend upwardly, and some of his awful performance can be attributed to some inflammation in his knee, but these stats are unacceptable for a guy who was taken as a 2nd round pick in this league.

1. Monta Ellis (PG, SG, Golden State Warriors) The Personal Fouls

Monta Ellis has been shockingly bad to start the season after being a somewhat surprising first round pick in the SpikeEskin.com fantasy basketball league. A lot of his issues, though, have come off the court. Ellis’ grandmother, to whom he was very close, passed away on Christmas Day, and on that same week that he received this sad news, Ellis was accused in a sexual harassment lawsuit. All of that is a lot to handle, and when that’s added on to the fact that Stephen Curry already missed time, putting more pressure on Ellis to carry the team, things just haven’t lined up for him so far. Ellis is a definite buy-low candidate and I expect him to vastly improve from his Week 1 performance.

Free Agents to Target

4. Tracy McGrady

Much like LT in football becoming a third down back, T-Mac has found his niche in a totally different position than what he played at the beginning of his career. The Hawks’ bench is as tin as Anthony Randolph, so McGrady will get plenty of minutes while being relatively efficient at rates that are worth owning in a league as deep as this one.

3. Shannon Brown

This is a pure upside pick, as he has not really looked in sync in the new Suns’ offense. I do think, however, that a lot of players that switched teams this off-season will be slow to adjust to their new teams, but will improve over the course of the season. Brown will definitely have his ups and downs, but should eventually be a good supplier of steals and 3PM, to go along with being a serviceable source in bot points and rebounds.

2. Josh Howard

While the younger, up-and-coming players are always the sexier picks near the end of drafts, it is often the underrated and forgotten veterans who can pick up the slack and truly bring in value. Josh Howard is a guy who has shown some energy early this season, and could be cracking the Jazz’s starting lineup for Raja Bell at any moment. Howard has gotten to the line at a phenomenal rate, and should provide a solid amount of steals, while struggling in FG% and 3PT shooting.

1. Robin Lopez

Yes, he’s done nothing since the first game of the season, but I think Robin Lopez can be a decent contributor in a 14-team league. He has always shot free throws well for a big man, and should be at least an average shot-blocker while getting his points and rebounds up. Lopez might not be the sexiest pickup, but he’s worth a look in leagues this deep.

You can follow along and watch league standings all year of the league HERE.

I’ve created a Twitter list of everyone in the league, you can follow that list HERE. 

And once again, please check out the fine folks over at RotoAnalysis.com for great fantasy advice for all sports, in written and podcast form.


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Check Out Our New Advice Column, “Ask CraneKicker”

Art by Matt Mac

We’re glad to have CraneKicker on staff at spikeeskin.com. You can follow him on Twitter @cranekicker. Email your advice questions to cranekickchronicles@gmail.com.


Hello everyone. CK here. You probably know me from hit websites and publications such as Crane Kick Chronicles, T Mac As…, Zoo With Roy, the Huffington Post, SI.com Hot Clicks, Philly GameDay, El ObservadorUruguay and of course Twitter. For those of you who don’t know me, hello and congratulations on your first day on the internet! You are going to have so much fun on here.


By now you may be saying to yourself “Yeah I get it you’ve typed stuff on a blog before so has everyone what is the point of this post I came here for football picks and photoshop fun?”

I’m glad you asked.

Effective immediately, SpikeEskin.com will be home to the world’s foremost digital advice column, hosted by yours truly and posted on a weekly basis entitled “Ask Cranekicker.” I will entertain questions and supply informative responses to any and all inquiries submitted by you, the reader (and/or my family). This is a great opportunity for each of you to ask whatever it is in the world you’d like and have an actual person provide you with….something. That’s it. Fun right?! Great let’s get to it.

Below is a list of Frequently Asked Questions to address any initial concerns you may have.

Q: “Where can I send my question?”

A: cranekickchronicles@gmail.com – Add it to your contacts. I’m sure Spike’s webmaster will add an “Ask Cranekicker” link somewhere on the masthead too.

Craney's Uncle

Q: “Do I need a specific subject line?”

A: “Ask Cranekicker” should be fine so your emails don’t get lumped in with the ones from my Nigerian uncle. Dude is relentless about trying to send me money. It’s almost annoying.

Q: “Do I have to provide my name?”

A: No. You can call yourself whatever you’d like. I call myself Cranekicker. Actually I don’t call myself that at all but people on the internet do. Really dropped the ball on that initial Twitter setup thing.

Q: “What kind of questions can I ask?”

A: Pretty much whatever you’d like. Want to talk about sports? Go for it. Need a nice recipe for an upcoming dinner/key party? Fire away. Having girl problems? I feel bad for you son. Want my opinion on who would win in a fight? I love those.

Q: “Can you get Spike to listen to my demo?”

A: Stop it.

Q: “Why the hell would I want to ask you a question about anything?”

A: You just did.

Dear Abby Sucks

Q: “What’s in it for you?”

A: I like to interact with as many people as possible while meeting as few of them as possible.

Q: “Are you single?”

A: No. Sorry.

Q: “Can’t I just do this on Twitter?”

A: 140 characters won’t cut it. Plus I really prefer to keep my Twitter separate for things like nonsensical RT requests to celebrities and pictures of food. And Spike is unemployed and needs the traffic.

Q: “Will this advice column be more entertaining than this waste of time you just had me read?”

A: I promise.

Posted in Ask CraneKicker, Fun StuffComments (0)

It’s The End Of The World, Now It Feels Like Eagles Season

Andy Reid made the wrong calls. The linebackers are hopeless. As a matter of fact, most of the defense is hopeless. None of this can be fixed. Yes, it’s Eagles season.

Read the full story

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