Tag Archive | "Stupid"

Local Produce: Proof Of How Stupid I Am

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As we drove away from our friend’s house in Nowheresville, Maryland, we passed a stand that sold, according to the big sign out front, “Local Produce.”

On the lawn out front, there were several more signs, “Local Blueberries,” “Local Strawberries,” etc…

I sat and laughed out loud to myself and imagined the following scenario:

Store worker: Hi sir, how can I help you today?

Me: Yes, how many calories does this cantaloupe have?

Store worker: I’m not sure sir, I’m sorry.

Me: That’s ok, how many calories do these blueberries have? In comparison to normal blueberries?

Store worker: I would imagine the same as normal blueberries sir.

Me: Well that doesn’t make much sense. All of those signs out front advertising “low-cal produce.” It’s probably weird fruit genetically engineered in some lab! I’d rather have some produce grown from around here anyway. See you later!

It inspired this text message conversation with my equally stupid brother, which eventually turned toward an impression of Dick Vitale.

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Posted in Fun StuffComments (1)

The 8====D Week In Sports: Shane, Ronnie and The NBA

I will let it be known that Lee Russakoff convinced me that I should do this every week. The question became; is it better to be known for something stupid, or not known at all? I think this pretty much shows what I think the answer to that question is.

Enjoy.

Finding out Ronnie Brown got traded: 8======================D

Finding out we had to take him back: 8=D

(it seems inappropriate to include Jerome Harrison in this rating system, so I’ll just say that the trade being voided was clearly for the best and I wish him a speedy, successful recovery)

The Sixers new owners press conference: 8=====D

The Sixers lowering ticket prices: 8=====D

The Sixers new owners press conference sound system: 8==D

The fact that there are no games to buy tickets for anyway: 8=D

The owners and players having extensive meetings to end the lockout: 8===D

The owners and players mind blowingly stupid decision to end the talks: 8=D

The Flyers game against Ottawa: 8==========D

The Flyers game against the Kings: 8==D

The Flyers game against the Capitals: 8=D

The NBA lockout forcing me to pay more attention to the NHL: 8=D

The Eagles beating the Redskins: 8====D

The fact that the Eagles are 2-4 after that win: 8=D

The Eagles assertion that “dirt in his eye” made Michael Vick lie on the ground twitching: 8=D

Philadelphia Union making the MLS playoffs: 8=========D

Philadelphia Union inking a deal with WIP to air games: 8======D

Philadelphia Union’s game against the Red Bulls: 8=D

The Shane Victorino vs. mean fans vs. Crossing Broad vs. everyone else Twitter Discussion: 8==D (at least it gave us something to talk about)

The World Series going on without the Phillies: 8=D

Your truly,

Spike 8====D

Posted in Eagles, Flyers, National Sports, Phillies, SixersComments (1)

Ronnie Brown Just Fumbled On Purpose, And The Dumbest NFL Plays I’ve Ever Seen

I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Read the full story

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