Tag Archive | "Local Produce"

Local Produce: Proof Of How Stupid I Am

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As we drove away from our friend’s house in Nowheresville, Maryland, we passed a stand that sold, according to the big sign out front, “Local Produce.”

On the lawn out front, there were several more signs, “Local Blueberries,” “Local Strawberries,” etc…

I sat and laughed out loud to myself and imagined the following scenario:

Store worker: Hi sir, how can I help you today?

Me: Yes, how many calories does this cantaloupe have?

Store worker: I’m not sure sir, I’m sorry.

Me: That’s ok, how many calories do these blueberries have? In comparison to normal blueberries?

Store worker: I would imagine the same as normal blueberries sir.

Me: Well that doesn’t make much sense. All of those signs out front advertising “low-cal produce.” It’s probably weird fruit genetically engineered in some lab! I’d rather have some produce grown from around here anyway. See you later!

It inspired this text message conversation with my equally stupid brother, which eventually turned toward an impression of Dick Vitale.

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