Tag Archive | "Christmas"

Buy This Sweet Mick Foley T-Shirt So We Can Make This Santa Claus Movie

FoleyShirt

You may remember over a year ago I told you about I Am Santa Claus.

This is a movie that I was helping out my good friend and producer/director Tommy Avallone with.

FoleySantaBothIt is a documentary about the men who play Santa Claus, and what these men are like during the non-holiday season months. As it turns out, the movie is going to be really good. Like, really good. Found a bunch of interesting Santa Claus(es), with very interesting stories.

One of those guys is a fella named, I dunno, MICK FOLEY. Whose long-time obsession with Christmas and Santa led him to bleach his hair, grow a beard, and become Santa. Mick liked the idea so much that he’s now a producer on the film.

To help with the costs of finishing the movie, there is now this SWEET t-shirt that you can buy for only one week. It also comes with an personalized autograph from Mr Mick Foley himself.

You can buy the t-shirt RIGHT HERE AT THIS LOCATION.

THE SHIRT WILL ONLY BE ON SALE FOR ONE WEEK!! OMG!!

You can watch Mick talk about the t-shirt and the film below.

We also tweet awesome photos from the movie @IAmSantaMovie.

And you can like the movie on Facebook.

 

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Ways To Annoy Friends And Family Over The Holidays

awkward_family_

The holiday season is a time to visit with friends and family, and be thankful for the things you have.

It’s also a time when you realize everyone you know is sort of annoying when you have to see them for more than an hour or two.

What better way to battle that problem than to annoy those people first? Here are some easy ways to annoy those closest to you over the next couple of weeks.

Annoy Dorks

Have any Lord Of The Rings or Harry Potter fans in your life? Sorry to hear that. Well a great way to really piss those people off is to say the two are “basically the same thing.” When questioned about why you feel this way, just repeat your original claim and say “all that wizard stuff.” Don’t use words like “dork” or “nerd,” or they will know what you’re trying to do. Just be really dismissive of all of it.

Create Memories That Never Happened

It’s important when you do this to make the memories a) false and b) basically inconsequential. Don’t make up a memory to a friend about the time you two climbed Mount Everest, as he/she will know that’s a lie. Just make up a story about the time you two went and ate “too many McNuggets.” It’s important that although false and inconsequential, you act as if this is one of your most cherished memories.

Insist On Listening To Music No One Likes

Chances are you’ll spend a lot of time in the car. It’s important that you spend this time either listening to music that you’re sure the passengers do not like, or if there is any question, make sure it’s music that no one likes. Insist you like this music. A good fail safe here is country music, as no one actually likes it.

Insist No One Likes Country Music

Even though this claim is obviously false, make sure you insist no one likes it.

“I’ll Be Right There”

If someone requests your presence, make sure you ALWAYS respond with “I’ll be right there.” Then never come. Always make people ask twice.

Listen To The Television At A Volume That Is Slightly Too Low

You know what volume I’m talking about here, it’s just below where you can hear the television easily and comfortably. If someone asks you to turn it up, at first chuckle, as if their request is ridiculous. When they ask again, act really annoyed.

Drive 5 MPH Too Slow

This is just the driving version of the above item.

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Ask CraneKicker Volume 5: The Ultimate Christmas List

New to spikeeskin.com, our favorite Twitter all-star @CraneKicker answers your pleas for advice. If you’d like to ask a question for next week’s column, email to @cranekickchronicles@gmail.com.

Hello friends of Spike Eskin.

I was going to talk about the Sixers mascot choices today but everyone else has already done that. I’d talk about the Eagles, but really who cares we know they’re going to win out just to piss everyone off and still miss the playoffs.  Big month ahead for the Flyers but we can get to that later. Phillies hot stove is starting to heat up. How about that Laynce Nix signing?!

Laynce. I can see it now – t-shirts made with the Lance chips logo but spelled with a “Y” in the middle.

Yeah that was my idea so whoever decides to steal it, make sure I get half the profits or I’m sending Krasno, Krasno and Onwudinjo on your asses.

To the questions!

(Just one question is being addressed this week – I wanted to give it the attention it truly deserved)

Cranky,
My mom keeps asking me what the hell I want for Christmas.  I’m a 33 year old, divorced dude who basically works all day, runs a couple nights a week, and just wants to watch sports and be left alone.  So, what the hell do I want for Christmas?

Sincerely,
@mjscalese

Without knowing anything more about you than what is listed above, I have devised the following Christmas list.

Nike Lunareclipse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m sure these are really good running shoes based on the reviews (4 ½ stars out of 5), but really all you need to care about is how they look, beings you are a fairly young, single man with a job. So you are what the ladies refer to as “available”. These sneaks are pretty fresh looking and are functional enough if you do indeed decide to go for a run. Or jog. I think they’re calling it jogging these days.

Bonus points for the color description – Anthracite. I’d have called it Neon Laffy Taffy, but that sounds much fancier.

$130 – available at: http://store.nike.com/us/en_us/?l=shop,pdp,ctr-inline/cid-1/pid-315685/pgid-315687.

Hey speaking of running – it’s cold out there. Why not keep warm with this stylish Nike Therma Fit Training Hat?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

S

ure, you can find it with other logos or without a logo at all, but I think you should go with the Army one. When people see you exercising while wearing this hat they will basically think you are a bad ass. Couple that with some neon anthracite shoes and you’re well on your way to being declared awesome.

$22 – available at: http://goarmysports.cbscollegestore.com/

Enough about exercising, you can’t stay out being the coolest runner in the neighborhood all night people will start to think you’re weird. You should probably keep some good reading material available at home to help you unwind and/or bring to the bathroom for a quick read. But not TOO long in there (see Ask CK – Vol. 4 for further info on that). Mad Magazine is a great choice. Entertaining, informative and I can guarantee none of your friends get it delivered to their house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

$19.99 for one year – available at: https://ssl.drgnetwork.com/ecom/dcc/app/live/promosub?org=dcc&publ=MD&key=IWBMD01

Now THESE are pretty cool. Mr. T In Your Pocket. A few Christmas’s ago I bought a bunch and gave them out to my friends. Big hit. You should probably have one too. Shut up fool.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

$10 – available at: http://www.80stees.com/products/Mr-T-Pocket-Keychain.asp?gclid=CIu4soOi7qwCFchM4AodcUIRdA

I believe you are a Philly sports fan and the Winter Classic is coming up. Since you like staying home I won’t suggest tickets, so maybe something to wear while you watch the game? Flyers Winter Classic Bullies Tee.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

$27.99 – available at: http://shop.nhl.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12288775

Booze? Of course booze. Johnnie Walker Green Label. ‘Tis the season to be jolly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

$55 – available at: the liquor store

And finally…

Anyone who follows me on Twitter has undoubtedly seen the championing of this next item for as long as I’ve had it. It was one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received and I appear to be the only person around lucky enough to own one since I am the only one who ever talks about it. LL BEAN RUGBY ROBE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

$79 – available at: http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/70799?page=mens-rugby-robe-fleece-lined

That should just about cover it. Hope you’re not on the naughty list.

Keep the questions coming here.

 

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