Categorized | Sixers

Spike Eskin’s D-League Tryout With The Skyforce

The Sioux Falls Skyforce are having open tryouts in Philly on Saturday. They’re the D-League affiliate of the the Sixers, Magic, Heat and Timberwolves (get all the info here).

Instead of trying out and wasting everyone’s time (much like the PA Announcer tryouts, when I did just that, I figured I’d just let you now how it would go if I did.

Hey Spike, here to cover the tryouts?

Hahaha, no, I’m here to tryout.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA, like for a bit? For a silly web video? You know, content?

No, no, I had a decent jump shot in high school and college and think I can make a go of it.

It’s $150 to try out. Still think you can do it?

Is that some sort of insult?

No, we’re just saying that…

Here’s the check. Where can I warm up?

Spike, tell you what, this one’s on us. ::rips up the check:: There’s a locker room in the back.


Ok guys, want me to shoot free throws?

No, how about you just run a couple of sprints for us?

Nah, can’t run. Bad hip, bad back. How about some free throws?

Well how are you going to play … forget it. How about just let us measure your vertical?

Can’t jump guys. Sorry. You know, hip, back, etc… About those free throws?

Can you maybe just touch your toes for us?

And throw my back out?! Come on guys, make it fair. I want a real chance to make the team.

But you can’t even run and we think that maybe…

GUYS! Free throws?!

Alright, how about those free throws?

Sounds good. How many do you want me to shoot?

How about ten?

Sure, I can shoot ten. Might have to do some stretching after five to stay loose and to not hurt my hip.

Alright, whatever (clearly annoyed n0w).



If I’m going to shoot these free throws could I at least get some play by play? You know, “no time left, at the line for two” kind of stuff?


Alright fine. I’ll just shoot them.

::make, miss, make:: OUCH! Holy sh*t my back. GUYS. UGH. My girlfriend’s number is in my phone.


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