Categorized | Fun Stuff, The Delco Files

The Delco Files #1: Someone Stole Five Dollars

The Delco Files is a new feature on spikeeskin.com. I imagine Fantasource and I will be the main contributors. I grew up in Delco, so I can say whatever I want about Delco. You’re going to love the Granite Run Mall Photo Gallery. 

There are wars going on right now in the world.

There is an unprecedented financial crisis.

We are on the verge of an important presidential election.

New diseases are discovered each day.

Also, some stole five dollars.

From the Delaware County Daily Times:

RIDLEY TOWNSHIP — A Philadelphia woman was charged with stealing a $5 tip from a table at Applebee’s, according to court documents.

Ashley D. Thurston, 24, and a male had finished eating their meals and paid their bill at the restaurant, which is located on East MacDade Boulevard, on May 17. As they were walking out, a witness allegedly saw Thurston take the tip from another table, the probable-cause affidavit states.

The couple left the restaurant and they were last seen on MacDade Boulevard. Police, responding to a report of a theft at 2:16 p.m., were provided a description of the couple. A woman matching the description of the female patron in question was stopped in the 100 block of East MacDade. Witnesses from the restaurant were brought to the scene of the stop and positively identified Thurston as the person who had taken the $5 tip.

Thurston was taken into custody and charged with third-degree misdemeanor theft and receiving stolen property. Her bail was set at 10 percent of $15,000, which according to online records wasn’t posted until Monday.

The status of a preliminary hearing, listed for Monday before Magisterial District Judge Vincent D. Gallagher Jr., was not immediately available.

Look, there’s crime in Delco, real, actual crime. Can you imagine the look on the cop’s face when he got the call for this one? I remember when I got pulled over in Los Angeles for blowing a red light. The police officer was so furious, not because I blew the light per se, but because we were in SOUTH CENTRAL and he had to waste his time with me.

So many times someone says “I’m calling the cops!” and doesn’t really mean it. It takes all kinds.

Isn’t that how that song goes by Jay-Z? “Y’all never seen big face money, till them big face … fives.”

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