If you’re a fan of any of the pro sports, Twitter has become a neat way to kind of have a direct connection to the athletes.
There seems to be a set of rules that most of them follow though. There must be, a Twitter Handbook for pro athletes.
The Rules (In No Particular Order)
1. Say good morning to your “Twitter Fam.” Do this all at once, as if they’re waking up right next to. Perhaps even thank God specifically for waking you up again.
2. Tell everyone what you had for breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
3. Tell them whether or not you’re going to rehab.
4. Spell the occasional word wrong. It will make everyone feel like you’re “one of them.” Occasional means at least once per tweet.
5. Whether you are boarding, or getting off a plane, please tell everyone.
1. Sell stuff. Either obviously, like DeSean Jackson mini-footballs or obviously and you’re trying to disguise it, like Diddy does with Ciroc vodka.
2. Are you in your hometown that is not where you play? Tweet it. Now.
3. Talk badly about other players, especially if you would never say it to their face.
4. Do you like money? Everyone does! Make sure you talk about the expensive things you’re buying. It will make everyone like you more.
5. You say something you regret or more importantly might get in trouble for, delete it, and say your account was hacked.
I kid, but I am genuinely thankful for what athletes do on Twitter. Sports is a big deal for a lot of us, and getting to know a little more about their lives is fun. I actually chuckle every time I know Ricky Sapp is watching Family Guy.
Except for Chad Johnson (Ochocinco), Paul Pierce, and Chris Douglas Roberts (admittedly random). I don’t want to know what you guys are doing. Ever.